big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
