Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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