Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
