Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize