Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
