i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
