Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
