i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
