If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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