I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
