Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
