my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
