Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
