Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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