my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
