she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
