yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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