I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize