Im at strip club and am horny
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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