Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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