He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
