I'll bet she douches with gravy.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
