See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just pee around me
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
