Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
