I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I look better un-naked...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
