so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize