Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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