Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
