I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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