I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
