Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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