Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
