you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
