So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
