My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
