he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
