we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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