Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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