i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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