don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
