What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
