I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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