I love black thongs
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have fence marks all over my body
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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