hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
