they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
