Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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