Apparently you make a good broom.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
