So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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