I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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