I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
