The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
