Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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