he shaved USA in his pubs
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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