I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
