Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
