used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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