i permit you to call me
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
