What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
