I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
