rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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