i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
