Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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