plz talk dirty to me
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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