Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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