I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
