6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
