Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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