I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
