My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize