I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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